I used to hate Valentine’s Day – back when I thought it was about what you get, and not what you give. Girls are trained at an early age, I think, to expect amazing things on Valentine’s Day – chocolates, cards, flowers, jewelry. Those things rarely made it my way, and I was resentful. Then last year I had an epiphany, and discovered that even a holiday founded by commercialism can be really fun if you focus on what you give instead of what you get. I created a tradition of going out and getting donuts and balloons for my kids, and the holiday instantly became fun. I love seeing how excited they get as I walk in with floating foil hearts and a bag full of pink sugar. I also kinda love the chaos of a supermarket on the morning of Valentine’s Day – the store is filled with sleepy men – some carrying sleepy children – all sifting through the flowers and candy trying to find something that will make their special women happy.
One of my favorite Valentine’s Days was back in college, when I never dated anyone long enough to warrant a proper celebration of the holiday, and therefore had no plans. A close friend called and informed me that she was going to celebrate being single on Valentine’s Day by going ice skating, and that I should join her. When we got to the ice rink we discovered that a doting dad had brought the soundtrack to Titanic and convinced the rink authorities to let him play it on repeat for his daughter. And so, to the tune of “My Heart Will Go On” – over and over and over – we skated and chatted and gossiped and declared that this was a WAY better way to spend the holiday than sitting in crowded restaurant trying to come up with awkward small talk.
I have to admit, I find myself a little torn on holidays, when I’m suddenly hit with the knowledge that any tradition I start with my kids will stick with them for life. My dad bought us those big chocolate hearts filled with candy every year – he even mailed them to us once we were in college – and to this day I freaking love those things. It’s a little bittersweet now, since he passed away when I was 22, but I still love them. Will my kids find themselves buying pink donuts and aluminum heart balloons when they’re 30? Part of me hopes so.
But should I tell them that it’s a holiday centered almost entirely around commercialism? Should we talk about the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, or who Saint Valentine even is (Wikipedia here I come)? Or is it okay to have this little silly holiday just be fun, centered on love and giving, and continue the tradition my dad created by supplying them with cheap chocolate in cardboard hearts? I’m inclined toward the latter. You won’t find me spending outrageous amounts of money on flowers and jewelry (or expecting someone else to), but I will contribute a very small portion of my income every year to donuts, balloons and cheap chocolate.
However you celebrate – or don’t celebrate – Valentine’s Day, I wish you a day filled with happy surprises, warm smiles and moments to be grateful for 🙂
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